When a woman gives birth to a baby, she is often faced with the dilemma of whether to stay home to care for her newborn or return to her 9 to 5.

According to a recently released report from the U.S. Census Bureau last year, nearly 11 million children under age 15 are raised by a full-time stay-at-home mom, a 13 percent increase from less than a decade ago.

Marlese Durr, Ph.D., associate professor and director of Women's Studies at Wright State University in Dayton, OH, says that this increase could simply be due to the state of distress the country's economy is in.

"I believe the rise in the number of stay-at-home moms could be due to the increase in the nation's unemployment rate. As economic restructuring continues its run from the 1980s into the new century, being a stay-at-home may not be an option, but something women do because they are out of work, or displaced and restructured," says Durr.

"For African-American women who are increasingly becoming the heads of households, whether through divorce, widowhood, or opting for single parenthood, being displaced or restructured (pre-or post-9/11) may be part of their decision to be a stay-at-home mom."

While Durr's theory may apply to many mothers, there is still a growing number of women choosing to leave their corporate jobs and stay at home to raise their children not for economic reasons, but simply because they want to.

For Atlanta mom Angela Howell, 35, a former mechanical engineer, leaving her job to stay at home with her two children, Alaina, 2, and Evan, four months, was a no brainer. She and her husband of six years, Glenn, also an engineer, had made this decision about parenting early on in their relationship.

"Before my husband and I got married it was already discussed that once we decided to have children, I would devote full-time to being a mom and just leave corporate America," says Howell, who believes that being a stay-at-home mom is the ultimate display of love and affection for a child during its formative years. "The more we talked about it, the easier the decision became. It's probably one of the best choices that we've made."

Like most mothers in Howell's position, she is able to remain home with her children because the family can afford to live on one salary.

"Peace of mind is priceless," Howell says. "Prior to our having children, my husband and I lived so that we would be able to manage on one income. Even when we built our home, we were looking in the price range that one salary could sustain.

"We always planned to live life like this, and if I ever go back to work then my salary would just be gravy."

Kuae Mattox, 38, of Montclair, NJ, quit her high-profile job as an NBC News producer after taking maternity leave with her second child. Mattox says that she always thought about being a stay-at-home mom to her children Teddi Noel, 6, Cole Benoit, 3, and Evan Simone, 4 months, while her husband Teddy worked as a magazine executive, but it was her mother's death that helped her make the final decision.

"My mom's passing was really a large part of my wanting to savor each and every moment with my children," explains Mattox. "[Her death] helped me to understand that life is very short. While I am here I'd like to be able to say that I have done as much as I can to give these children the right start in their lives."

The transition from being a career woman one minute to a stay-at-home mom the next takes some getting used to for many women and Mattox admits that it was definitely a challenge for her.

"I wasn't comfortable saying to [people] 'Yes, I'm a stay-at-home mom.' I really wanted to rattle off my resume because my career has been so much a part of my identity. It took a good two years for me to resolve that."

Mattox now fully respects and appreciates her new job but says that being a stay-at-home mom is only for a "season" of her life and that she does plan to return to her journalistic career in one form or another.

"My thought is that when my third child, Evan, goes to kindergarten, I will probably get back in the work force. It may not be the same job, but my career will always be there for me whenever I'm ready to go back to it--if I want to go back to it. My children will not be children forever."

Jolene Ivey's parenting experience is not that different from Howell's or Mattox's. As a child, Ivey, 42, was a latchkey kid until junior high school, when her stepmother retired.

"It was an amazing thing for me to come home to her. She would have dinner cooking and be there to talk. It was great! I decided then that my kids would have me at home instead of going to a baby sitter," explains Ivey.

"When I started dating my husband, I told him that I wanted to get married, have kids and stay home, and if he wasn't interested, then we didn't need to keep dating. He was comfortable with that, and it has worked out great for us." Today, Ivey and her husband Glenn, state's attorney for Prince George's County, MD, are the parents of five boys: Alex, 13, David, 10, Julian, 8, Troy, 5, and Aaron, 3.

After some time of only having her boys to keep her company, Ivey, once a press secretary on Capitol Hill, longed for the conversation of other mothers in her situation.

"Sometimes I just felt lonely for other women who were experiencing the same kind of life I was living," says Ivey.

"White moms don't necessarily look at things the way [we] do."

In the spring of 1997 Ivey and friend Karla Chustz had the idea to publish a newsletter, Mocha Moms, in hopes of connecting with other mothers of color across the country who were taking time off from their careers to raise their children. That April the first newsletter was published and the first support meeting followed in January of 1998.

The word about the newsletter and the organization spread fast.

"Word of mouth was also critical," says Ivey, who lives in Cheverly, MD. "We mailed or gave [the newsletter] to anyone we thought would be interested. I also posted notices at online bulletin boards that targeted African-American mothers. Black at-home moms just started coming out of the woodwork!"

Today Mocha Moms, Inc. has 120 chapters all across the United States with a membership of more than 1,000, including Howell, who serves as the Atlanta chapter's co-president and Mattox who is Essex County, NJ, president and the director of national media relations.

The organization has become well known and takes pride in its community service projects and volunteerism as well as its support for its fellow stay-at-home moms.

Ivey is pleased with the fact that what once started out as a simple supportive newsletter has grown into something far greater than she expected.

"Believe me," Ivey says, "I'm not lonely anymore!"

COPYRIGHT 2003 Johnson Publishing Co.
COPYRIGHT 2003 Gale Group